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Angela Light

Walking it out- the great, the messy & in between

Cry to a loved one in despair

Posted by angela on January 29, 2015
Posted in Uncategorized  | 5 Comments

You feel consumed. The darkness and emptiness have been with you so long that you can’t remember happiness anymore. Why continue? The days are so long, dark and seem to stretch before you like a long road to nowhere. You’re tired. You’ve tried time and again to make things right. You take one step forward and three steps back. You know right from wrong but it just doesn’t seem to matter any more.

Why fight for doing the ‘right’ things when nothing good comes from it?
• You’ve tried a new path, new directions but it left you more empty than when you started.
• You’ve tried to get involved with new people but never fit in.
• Tried a new job but it left you hollow and unfulfilled.
• The loneliness creeps in to such a deep level that no one can reach you

The internal fighting spirit you thought you had seems to slowly vaporize…until thoughts of returning to your old ways seem more attractive than existing in your current life.

Your faith…well, you believe in God but where is He? You’ve cried and prayed and tried to keep on the straight path but you’re losing the battle. You feel abandoned. If God really cared, why would He let you continue to drag on day by day in this battle and not help, not rescue you? Maybe you had it all wrong-maybe this God stuff isn’t what you were taught. Maybe He is out there but you’re not faithful enough, good enough, strong enough to walk a path with Him. He wants too much and you’re too tired to do anything.

Why bother? What future do you really have anyhow? You’ve made such a mess of your life already that most people have already given up on you. Why keep fighting?

The pain is overwhelming and you know exactly what will make the pain go away, at least for awhile.

Sure, it means stepping back into a dangerous life but if it will numb the pain, its worth it. What have you got to lose anyhow, right?

So you give in. You go back to it.

Your life starts to fall apart even more. The family is exhausted from walking this path with you and they’ve had it with yet another battle on this addiction scene.
Where do you go? Why are you even alive if this is all there is?

My cry to you loved one: thru the mental fog I pray you can hear or know this truth:
You Are Loved
More than you’ll ever know. You are not worthless or a throw away. You have value. You are worthy!
Yes, its hard but there is a way out. Even if you can’t see it yet I pray you don’t give up hope. Keep asking and crying out to God, He will provide a way out. You have to take the chance when He gives it.

You have a purpose. You are so precious to God and to others. You may not see it or feel it but its true!

Don’t give up loved one. Keep seeking and hanging on—there is a wonderful future for you! God hasn’t given up on you!

“but I will not take my love from him, nor will I ever betray my faithfulness.”Psalm 89:33

“Because he[b] loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16

RUN? me? I don’t feel like it!

Posted by angela on January 20, 2015
Posted in Uncategorized  | 1 Comment

She was panting but wouldn’t stop. “Keep going, DO NOT QUIT” she kept telling herself. Her body was screaming to take a break but she knew better—one second to take a break would turn into stopping all together. She kept going. One foot in front of the other. Gasping for air, feeling a panic starting to set in…”STOP IT!” she screamed to herself. ‘Keep going. It’s all worth it in the end. Forget the feeling of wanting to collapse…keep those feet moving. Go forward. Don’t look back, keep moving’. Her pace slowed but she didn’t’ stop. There was something blocking her running path ahead—no matter. Go around it or jump over it, she told herself. Just don’t quit.

Ever feel like this runner? Gasping for air, fatigue covering you like a wet blanket and you’re motivation is nowhere to be found? Ready to give up and stop going? Keep going! One foot in front of the other…keep it moving!!

I’ve noticed the big talk seems to be what everyone’s “Word of the Year” is. I wasn’t familiar with this concept until this year (I may have been under a rock, its true). At first I thought it was a cutsie way to reword New Year resolutions. But when I heard someone say we don’t just pick a word for ourselves–instead we pray and ask the Father to give us a word He wants us to focus on or realign our thoughts towards.

After thinking about this and praying about it…is this silly or is it truly a meaningful path we can walk with God? I realized something…Its really listening to our Father and His direction.  Its Him giving guidance to His kids. In our search for guidance and new beginnings (since it’s a new year), we turn our ears to be more in tune with His indications.

Many of you already know what your ‘word’ is for this year. What a great encouragement for kicking off new beginnings! If you don’t yet know about this or have a word, I encourage you to not give up. Keep asking the Father for your word…He loves to be personal with us and delights in us relying on Him.

If you haven’t guessed yet, my word was a surprise this year: its “RUN”. I wished I could say I embraced this word quickly. Nope…I kept asking God ‘Are you sure? Run? Me? But I’m tired…” you can guess my list of reasons why the word ‘run’ at first didn’t resonate with me. But on deeper prayer and talking with Him, I now see it differently.

I believe this word can mean something for you too.

 I can now see how it already applying to so many areas of my life—and scripture backs it up!

• Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. (1 Corinthians 9:24)
run with perseverance (Hebrews 12:1)
• Don’t run dry (paraphrase from 1 Kings 17:16)
• I run in the path of your commands, for you have broadened my understanding. (Psalm 119:32)
• He sends his command to the earth; his word runs swiftly.(Psalm 147.15)
• When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. (Proverbs 4:12)
• The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. (Proverbs 18:10)
• but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:31)
• You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? (Galatians 5:7)

Ouch…that last one burned a little!

So I realize now that RUN can apply to us all in some aspect.

We don’t give up, no matter what the world tells us, how we may feel or how hard it looks ahead. We keep going. We have a different goal than others and our race, marked before us, is different for each one of us. The Father lays a route for each of us follow for our lives…we just have to respond.

I encourage you to pray about your ‘word’ for this new year if you haven’t yet. If you have, please share it in the comments and we can encourage one another! Keep me honest friends as I also fall off the wagon and want to give up sometimes—let’s keep each other running forward to what lies ahead.

Thank you Father for your encouragement for each of us.


Posted by angela on January 13, 2015
Posted in Uncategorized  | 1 Comment

So sorry for the LONG delay in getting posts updated…I’ve had a terrible time with technical difficulties. A new post is coming in a few days (if website continues to work!)