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Angela Light

Walking it out- the great, the messy & in between

Take a Breath

Posted by angela on March 14, 2018
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Thanks for stopping by to read this blog. I have a favor to ask: Please give it a try…Breathe in slowly….now exhale. Okay great, now repeat it…breathe in…and exhale.
Great job!
No, today’s post isn’t going to make you break a sweat and do exercise. Relax

I just felt we all need a moment to breathe. Take a break.
Don’t misunderstand…I’m in no way saying things that are happening around us is unimportant. But to be blunt, I’m beat. Weary.

So much negative and horrific things all around us. All the division, seriousness, disagreement, violence, mentally unstable. Ugliness is esteemed. Ungodliness is celebrated. No morals.
We grieve. We know God grieves over His creation and its blatant rejection of Him.

I’m trying not to get too down. The culture shifting focus from the root issues & twists things to suit their own agendas. The overt aggressiveness of many make some of us want to take a step back, ignore or get quiet and not stand for our beliefs. We see others who take a stand being shunned, ridiculed or worse. So we shrink back, then the sadness settles over us.

We are hungry for holy justice and wisdom. We seek it out, study it in the word then shudder when we see the opposite happening in the world around us. What do we do? How do we move forward in a positive way without losing our focus when we feel too tired to stand?

Sometimes a step back, not a shrinking away, but a moment to breathe. And as silly as it sounds…I’ll just say it: I need to laugh. You? A giggle, something funny. Something light hearted.
Does it mean I’m not taking the seriousness around me to heart? Of course not, it just means…a moment to breathe. I didn’t throw my shield or breastplate of righteousness away…I just am taking a break to give a little breathing room to my soul for a little lightheartedness. Laughter is good, right? Does God even address this? Glad you asked!

Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Ecclesiastes 3:12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.

He didn’t say ignore the things around us or excuse us from standing firm and doing right. His spirit gives us a breath….exactly what we need. He tells us He is our strength, our shield so we don’t need to think its all on us. Its exhausting to think so! We can be joyful in the midst of the YUCK…as opposite as that sounds.
Psalm 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.

So I tell Him…how tired, disgusted and worn out I am from the world/the culture/the constant current against His way. I’ve actually been asking for some fun, some giggle time and some breathing room. He enjoys laughter, he invented a sense of humor and wants us to feel joy. Joy in Him, despite all the surroundings.
So I’m going for it…a moment to breathe….giggle, relax, hopefully something so funny it makes me laugh so hard I can’t breathe….
You’re allowed a moment…take it!! He loves you, loves watching you enjoy life…so take a moment & step back from it all. Just giggle a little .
Job 8:21 He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.

Just throw a scrap

Posted by angela on March 7, 2018
Posted in Uncategorized  | 4 Comments

I started this blog several years ago after wrestling with God—I couldn’t see myself blogging. Well, I’ve been on a hiatus and feel He’s leading me back. I miss it! I invite you to join in…there will be some raw moments, some insights and general living posts. Feel free to comment and join in this journey of life….the good, the bad and the messy.
Right now, life is in the messy season…still. At least today is, in some respects. I’m sure everyone has something they’ve struggled with for a while…maybe many years. Its something you may have prayed about, cried about, perhaps thought you finally got to the other side of it only to find yourself planted back on the battle lines with this thing. It could be anything you’re wrestling with—a person, a relationship, an addiction, an bad habit, a situation, marriage, friendship, rejection, financial, health, etc.
I’m planting my stick in the sand and saying I’m really sick of it. Yep. I know, it may be teaching me something in the long run. Great- but I’m sick of waiting for the end of that ‘long run’ to get here. (anyone else?) I’ve been crying and wailing out that ‘I’m done with this, please take this from me’, I’m weary, battle worn and basically feeling like I’ve been run over by a truck, backed over, and ran over again.

Please tell me I’m not the only one (although I don’t want anyone to feel this way). But I know its out there. I know others are struggling. Sometimes this ‘thing’ is pretty big…something that alters the course of a life, or cuts you to the core. I get it. Your battle worn face is scarred with the many times you’ve tried to face this thing and was beaten down.

I’m there with you right now. In the past, admittedly, I would stay here crying. I do that too, don’t get me wrong. But in the past I wouldn’t move from here. I wouldn’t know I could. It was the ‘thing’ that had me in a chokehold so I cound’t move. I didn’t feel movement was possible. Many times it wasn’t.

However after battling some of these things longer than I ever want to admit, I did something this morning. I told God I was TIRED of pleading and crying out for his help in fixing, resolving and rescuing me from this. I know…sounds crazy and not too Jesus loving…stay with me a moment….
I was overwhelmed (again) and something in me shifted. I’ve cried and prayed over this so many times for so long, I was shocked to sense this shift. I caught myself saying ‘Father, if you even threw me a scrap of wisdom or guidance in this, in even a flash of a second of you would finish this battle’. That’s when the ‘SNAP” happened.

“NO”….I felt it loudly and suddnely. Oh no…I’ve been praying for rescue for so long and finally I hear something back and its “NO”??…OH MY GOSH IT CAN”T BE….

But it didn’t stop there. It was ‘NO…don’t ask for a scrap’. (HUH?)
Then in an instant, I understood. I am his daughter, a daughter of THE king. You don’t hide behind the throne of God, scurrying beneath the chair and begging for a scrap. I’m beloved by HIM…not a offhanded pain in the neck he tolerates (althought I admit I struggle not to see myself this way). It was clear…stand boldy in front of the throne of your Father and ask expectedly. Wow.

No a whisper of a scrap but to be boldly in His presence asking for not rescue only. If that’s his will, great (I’m prefer this of course). But now I ask ‘help me see what you want me to in this mess. What are you showing me, teaching me. I pray for your wisdom to see and understand.

I hope to post again soon what I learned but right now…this moment…I’m picking myself up from crawling and getting to my feet, trying to be steady to stand and ask. I’m asking, I’m shaky from crawling so long but what else? Do I quit? Do you? NO…there is not quitting. But we don’t stay here…we stand, on possibly shaky legs (shaky from fatigue of fighting) and asking for his strength to renew and his eyes to show what we need to see. I’m hopeful this will wrap up this fight for a new season. Of course, that remains to be seen. I’m guessing we’re tired, beat up but we have a stronger one in us that will hold us up when we can’t stand.
Lets lean into that-He has us in His hand. No matter how we feel. We may be hurt, heartbroken, MAD and weary. He knows and He holds us. Imagine if he weren’t holding us…yikes?!
Stay with me…we go forth, maybe in baby steps but we’re standing, not cowering in the corner.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Ephesians 3:12 Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence.