So I’ve been really hesitant about doing a post like this. Not really sure why I hesitate but I’m putting it out there to be transparent and to be honest, vulnerable. My thought is I may not be the only one with these struggles so the hope is that if you are also in this boat you’re not alone…we walk it out together.

I’m struggling and to be quite honest, quite annoyed with it. I’m in that place where I’m sure I heard from God on something but I’m seeing nothing that is moving me forward. Well, to be honest, nothing that is moving where I THINK I should be moving towards. So I’ve been going through a crazy cycle of questioning if I really heard correctly, maybe I missed my moment (does that even happen), maybe God changed his mind when he realized what a wreck I still am, maybe I’m just too messy to be used anymore, etc. But then I realize I let my thoughts go nuts and where is my faith-my trust-what am I doing spinning like this?!

Does ANYONE ever have these wonderful self talks that make you want to scream?
It’s a struggle since I know that I know…He did give me a sense of where He is taking me. It is taking much much longer than I ever imagined…(years, not months)….then I get annoyed with myself for being so short on faith that it will come to pass in His timing. Then I’m annoyed all over again that its taking too long and sick of waiting for breakthroughs. Circle back to feeling like a jerk that I’m so selfish and self focused that I’m annoyed that God isn’t jumping to my timeline in the way I think it should go. OK….I’m dizzy! I keep drawing circles-
Anyone else?

I really hope this message is speaking to someone and not just a crazy rant and rave (ok, confession) of how I get in that cycle of up/down/all around and back again.

Without any doubt, I know that He is good. He keeps His promises and just because things are not happening in ways I see, ways I think they should-it doesn’t mean He gave up on me. It means He is working it out as He wants. I will not mature in my relationship with Him until I persevere. So persevere I will and encourage you to as well! I’m so encouraged that God promises he is working IN me, helping me obey Him. I’m not the lone ranger in this!

Philippians 2:13 He is working in you. God is helping you obey Him. God is doing what He wants done in you

However I ask…how have you handled these situations? You are in a waiting period, going for a breakthrough but it is not coming that you can see, nothing on the horizon. How did you get through it? Did you wait it out, walking thru each day with expectation? Or did you give up, throw in the towel and ‘cut your losses’ for time spent?
Let me know…post your comments-I’d love to hear from you!

Romans 5:3-4 And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope

(Love this quote from Peter Haas in relation to Phillipians 2:13): Its not up to us to strive and whip it up in a frenzy. We just surrender…step out in faith ALTHOUGH we don’t feel the feeling YET.