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Angela Light

Walking it out- the great, the messy & in between

Peek into a private prayer

Posted by angela on December 11, 2014
Posted in Uncategorized  | 3 Comments

Thank you for today. For the ability of the senses you have blessed us with. For the ability to see the morning sun, hear the voices of my family, of music, the ability to speak and sing praise to you. Thank you for the ability to drink and eat and process this for nourishment. For the ability to move, walk, to feel. These are truly blessings. We rush and don’t realize these things that are such a part of our usual world…until we don’t have them then we feel crippled. Thank you for the unspoken and unseen we rush past and don’t realize. So stop, wait and sense you in this panic and rushed life is so counter to what we do & learn. Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for being here, in whatever wonderful or horrible moment I find myself. Thank you for reminding me that no matter what I FEEL, your promises override my feelings. Your presence is stronger than my problems. You overcome the obstacles and while you are ever powerful, I am not. I’m stuck and drowning in the murky abyss at times. Thank you for reaching out and holding me, even while I’m screaming that you’ve abandoned me.

My viewpoint is so limited. I see my world thru these human eyes. Thank you for the sense of so much in the unseen that I can trust you to guide this life to where you see the destination. I can’t see where I’m going but if I keep myself focused on You and not my doubt or fear, you will guide this journey to places I can’t imagine. I’m the one that limits it all…my doubt, my fear of the unknown, my insecurity of not having my world in a warm & safe setting.

Keep me on track Father. I need you. We all need you, even if we don’t realize the depth of our need.

Thank you for the struggles I’m cried over and the screams against you. You can handle my despair. My confusion. You are solid while I’m wailing. I call upon you and even when I didn’t see or feel you, you are there. I’m amazed how much you have orchestrated in the smallest details of life. We don’t usually see your work until after the fact. I can look back on some of my darkest, scariest and most desolate times and can NOW see you at work. At the moment, I felt alone since I didn’t see you in the immediate. But you were there, working things out—things I couldn’t see so I was scared and angry for being left alone. I never was alone and I thank you…for being who you say you are, never ignoring your children and being so compassionate to still hold & love us while we’re screaming and crying against you.

Wherever you take me, I pray for the wisdom and courage to follow you. As long as you guide these feet and appoint my path, I will follow you. Thank you for the chance to be your child and a part of your family. Thank you for being my Father and letting me sit with you, knowing you have it all under control and there is no need for me to doubt, panic or try to control anything. You have it covered. Thank you Father.

I know the LORD is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. Psalm 16:8

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns,once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you]watchfully. 1 Peter 5:7 (AMP)

“Just let me do it!”

Posted by angela on December 3, 2014
Posted in Uncategorized  | 1 Comment

“Just let me do it!”
I was talking with a friend who was explaining how she was so exhausted and frustrated. She was telling of how while trying to get some work done for a church event, other volunteers were holding up her progress. She was sharing how if they would just get out of the way and let her do it, she’d get it done faster so she could move on to the next thing.

She was spinning. Overwhelmed. Her job, her family, her extended family, a friend she’s helping, church activities. I see the exhaustion etched in her face through her smile. She explains she’s just doing her usual daily routines but her friend needed some extra support; Oh, and her job needed someone to fill in;a family member that needs errand running; church needed volunteers.

I start there—“why did you volunteer to help at church when you’re this crunched with your schedule?” She stares at me like I have 7 heads. She explains the church asked, and it IS church after all so it’s a good cause (continuing to look at me like I just don’t get it). We talk about how there are zillion ‘good’ things we can all be involved in but that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to be. We have to know what is put in our path to pick up and what is to be left on the path.

Ever fall into this pattern also? (Okay, I’m not exempt from this either!)

I admit something about this too: while reading scripture, I used to be confused about doing good deeds. One verse states that faith without works is useless then another states its faith alone-not our works-that saves us.

How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless? James 2:20
For by His loving-favor you have been saved from the punishment of sin through faith. It is not by anything you have done. It is a gift of God. Ephesians 2:8

So I can see how many of us fall into a misunderstanding. We feel if we’re doing ‘good’ things then we’re on the right track. Surely we’re doing what God would want since these are all ‘good’ deeds, right? The good deeds are not what saves us but surely God is happy with us if we toil for the common good. Ever think this way?

Here is the difference I’ve learned: We are to do what GOD leads us to do. There are a zillion good things but we’re not called to do them all. You are not called to kill yourself with overscheduling so you can do one more ‘good deed’ in the name of the common good.

I encourage you to ask the Father what He wants you to engage in. I truly don’t think it brings Him glory for his children to be worn out, frazzled shells walking around in a trance from exhaustion. This isn’t abundant life He promises us.

How can I say this with confidence? Because I was a classic ‘let me help, let me do it’ overachiever that ended up sidelined with a body that quit from overexertion. I spent a long time pleading with God to heal me and questioning why He didn’t heal me quickly since I was doing all these good things for His kingdom. One day a quiet response came….you’re doing many good things but I didn’t ask you to. This is all your own doing, not Mine. OUCH. Busted.

So I ask you the question: are you doing what the Father has asked of you? Or what you think He’d want because its good stuff, good deeds, helping others, etc? If He isn’t leading you to be an active participant, perhaps he wants your efforts elsewhere-maybe even resting and letting someone else have the chance to pick up the reins.

Jesus set the example. He walked among us with needs everywhere. He didn’t drag himself to each and every need, in every village and town and country. He did what the Father instructed him to do. Another example is the classic story of Mary & Martha.

Martha was working hard getting the supper ready. She came to Jesus and said, “Do You see that my sister is not helping me? Tell her to help me.” 41 Jesus said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 Only a few things are important, even just one. Mary has chosen the good thing. It will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:40-42

Ouch again. Many needs are there, many good things. But we need to be sensitive to what the Father has for us to do…not everything that NEEDS done but what He has given us individually and specifically to do.

I recall a saying I had heard many years ago from Joyce Meyer “If the enemy can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy”. It has stuck with me over the years—I get it. Wearing ourselves out isn’t showcasing the light within us, it just makes us look like frazzled messes. Why would a lost person be interested in being a worn out frazzled mess? I know, not pretty.

I encourage you to take a moment to step back, get some alone time with the Father and ask him to show you what HE wants you to do. Not all the needs in your world, just the need He has specifically for you. Maybe that need is for you to rest.

“For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mathew 11:30