Ever feel like there is something wrong with you? You are thankful for your blessings, walking through your days facing your struggles and victories, but something feels like its missing?

You’ve probably heard of the ‘God hole’. The image is everyone has a hole in their hearts that only God can fill. Many try to fill that emptiness with other things-people, food, drink, drugs, shopping, whatever. But nothing will ever satisfy—it isn’t meant to. The ‘God hole’ was created only for Him and He dwells there once He’s invited. Its not shocking then when there are times when believers feel guilty if they have a feeling of emptiness. They’ve invited God to fill their hearts-and He has. So why the emptiness? If its not a ‘God hole’ issue, what then?

Many times this is not something we would ever voice to others. We think If we were praying enough, we wouldn’t feel this way. Or if we were following the path God intended, then surely we’d be so fulfilled at all times that an empty feeling would be ridiculous.

So, we smile, keep going and wonder deep in our spirits if something is wrong with us. We cry out “Father, please help me. Remove this emptiness. Fill me with Your presence”. When we don’t get an instant wave of refreshment washing over us, we journey onward, secretly upset that nothing happened when we cried out.

Some of us begin thinking we’ve done something to cause this emptiness. If we’ve stepped away from our relationship, or let ourselves become distracted with life and haven’t spent time with God, perhaps that emptiness is from lack of relationship. Obviously, this can be a reason.

But what about if this isn’t the case—you’ve been in relationship, you’re in constant contact with God? But when you ask about the emptiness, no answer. Now what?

Anyone ever feel this, but maybe not want to admit it out loud?

I have to admit, I can’t stand these seasons. I know they are necessary for us. Necessary for us to go through to learn whatever element the Father is teaching us. It’s probably different for each person. But I don’t like it. Not at all.
I second guess decisions, lose confidence, feel lonely and generally out of sorts. Anyone with me?
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It’s during one of these dark times that I sense a different meaning behind the fog. I had let myself go down the path of ‘why are you ditching me God? I thought You’d never leave but here I am and I feel so horrible and lonely and nothing like myself. Help me! I don’t feel you close by and you promised you’d never leave! Where are you?!”

Perhaps I had to journey on that road to feel the negativity. It did make me appreciate the days when I DON’T feel that way…but really, was this necessary?

Maybe I had to feel left alone on a dusty path to get myself into a deeper relationship with the Father. Where else could I go? No human could touch that emptiness. I could have turned to outside comforts like food, drinking, shopping, hanging around the wrong people, etc. Sadly, I’ve done that so much in my past, I have finally learned to NOT do that again. (I must be slow since it took me decades to learn it!)

It was a realization one day…I had to go to those ugly places to see what I did NOW to handle it.

Did I run back to my old ways of fake comforts? Or did I hold fast to what I knew to be true of God? Had I matured enough in my relationship with Him to manage myself? It was a revelation to me to realize this was something I had to endure—to see what choice I made this time around. Him or fake stuff? Thankfully, I chose to wait on Him. Not easy. Not fast. But I have to admit, I grew from the experience and feel closer to Him through it all. I feel He can trust me a little more to not run to false comforts.

Thank you Father for teaching me- even when I scream that I don’t want to be taught and don’t like it. These growing pains are needed to sharpen my maturity so I can be trusted. Your patience is overwhelming!

1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NIV) On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.

James 1:4    Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.